Dear eBay buyers
May 28th, 2009

Dear eBay buyers

It’s a funny thing when you send people a handwritten note (or a drawing), they look at you like you’ve gone mental and don’t quite fit in the world. Some of us don’t fit in the world, you usually hear us laughing a lot (or mightily denunciatative towards the whole mess).

But back to the notes, it seems that with the handwritten word becoming so scarce in modern society, an enterprising person could make a killing by artistically writing trivial bullshit like the words “fuck shit piss” in beautiful calligraphy and framing it. In an age where thoughts can be typed, edited, posted in the blink of an eye, we forget the thought and patience that goes into a simple scribble in ink on paper. You cannot edit, you can only black out. A digital world is lifeless because nothing is ever permanent or tangible, we simply remember events as we search Google for news of them. A clever person could alter history with a computer worm in the right places and the patience to wait a generation or so.

Anyways, I do hope they enjoy the shoes and original artwork.

MANY DECADES LATER: Funny story: I accidentally ended up with swapped boxes when UPS boxed them up at their store. They took them in a back room and they were both the same size and it was a total accident. I managed to call both people when they got the packages and sent private messages on eBay wondering WTF.

One dude was super cool, accepted my profuse apologies for the fuck-up and just sent them right back like a normal person would, and the other guy was was some kind of Russian import/export broker who was extremely unpleasant to deal with (even after I offered to pay for return shipping he acted like he wanted to get two pair of shoes for free). The whole ordeal with him involved several phone calls and got to the point where we had to involve PayPal to resolve the matter. It is possible he was unimpressed with my artistic skills and took them as some kind of insult on top of the mixup, but I think maybe it was just because he was a jerk to begin with.

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